I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
