honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
