i think i have two assholes
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
where are you?
Hypothermia
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
