Well douche your snatch and let's go!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize