Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
