In the future we'll all be gay
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
