Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
