between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
