I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
