Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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