That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
