Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
