New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
