I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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