Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize