she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
