Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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