My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
