i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
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