White coat. Heels.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
