You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
