there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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