I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
