addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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