party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
