But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
