god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
