we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
