i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
