hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
