he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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