I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
