I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
