Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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