11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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