so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
