I wish I could teleport
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
