What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
