I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
