well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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