i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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