I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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