butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
