What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
