Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble

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(718): View more from New York

I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.

Fav 6 4659 946
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(512): View more from Texas

I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.

Fav 15 8119 1220
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(330): View more from Ohio

i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels

Fav 16 1517 5679
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(314): View more from Missouri

i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him

Fav 36 7700 2443
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(618): View more from Illinois

You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs

Fav 6 3761 1231
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand

Fav 17 4228 1055
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(847): View more from Illinois

Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.

Fav 2 181 389
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(240): View more from Maryland

He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!

Fav 1 38 11
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