She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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