I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
