It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
