i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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