im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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