Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
