with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
