Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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