i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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