told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
