I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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