I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
