the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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