haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you didnt know i had herpes?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
