I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
